“Wife loses feelings for me. How to save a family?”

I have a friend whom she saw in 2012, they do not communicate. We began to notice that he constantly views its stories and tape on Instagram (an extremist organization banned in Russia), likes likes. And she said that even the photo began to load there only so that he would see how successful she.

And my wife admitted to me tonight: if he arrived, then she would secretly go to meet with him. But the maximum that would allow was a kiss on the cheek, hugs and a pleasant conversation over a cup of coffee. But she noted: “If he convinced me that I would be happier with him, I would have left you”.

My wife thinks that I cannot reveal her as a woman, but he can … She even laid out the Tarot cards on him, and the cards told her that he loves her. She says she feels some inexplicable attraction. Friend lives 12,000 km from us. She blocked him today on Instagram (an extremist organization banned in Russia) so that there are no reminders of it, but I think that she will unlock.

What should I do? I’m in shock and did not sleep all night. He also has a wife and a child. He does not take any action. Maybe she wrapped herself up due to the scenario of the Tarot and now believes in this? The wife now says that she wants to forget him and she is very ashamed that it turned out such a situation that such feelings and thoughts appeared in her head. How to save a family?

Oleg, you and your wife have long been together, from a young age, and have retained feelings for her. But it seems that your wife is missing something in a relationship. It took a sense of novelty, Rutin was closed, she got bored. This happens when a couple has long been together.

Perhaps your wife has no confidence that you also still feel feelings for her. It is one thing to wear these feelings inside, another is to show them to a loved one.

We can say that your

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wife “lights up in response” or, as you noted, wraps itself. I saw that your friend likes, brings her story – and became interested in them. Immediately appeared different fantasies on his account. And he, in your words, did not even communicate with her.

It looks like your wife is a romantic nature. On the one hand, she is pleased to have reliable protection in your face, but I would also like the novelty and freshness of feelings, and in case of long -term relationships, this is hardly possible.

Convince her that she will be much happier with you than with the person whom she herself invented

The phrase is alarming that you “cannot reveal it as a woman”. It is very important. Try to clarify what it means? What you need to do for this? If it’s about sex, you can discuss who does not suit anyone. Talk about it. If the point is in colors, compliments, “likes”, then this can also be corrected.

The fact that your wife became ashamed, suggests that there is hope to save the family. After all, this is addressed to you about the belief: convince her that she will be much happier with you than with the person whom she herself invented.

You can go to a consultation with a family psychologist. It is important to convey to her understanding: having chased for novelty and fantasies, your wife will destroy and lose everything she has now. Will she get something in return? Not yet known. It will take a lot of effort and time.

The desire for novelty is familiar to everyone, this feeling is explainable and natural. You can come up with a new lesson that will move boredom. For example, buying a larger apartment, moving, repair, construction of a summer residence. In accordance with your capabilities. This will unite you and, perhaps, will open new facets in relationships. Do not despair. And good luck!

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